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How can I hold onto common sense in a divorce?

You see it all the time on television. One spouse learns their partner is leaving or cheating on them. The very next day divorce papers are on the dinner table. As simple as television makes divorce seem, in real life, it is not that easy.

When faced with separation, many people, including those in the Baton Rouge area, tend to react first and think last. That is no way to approach the divorce process. Here are some ways you can keep your sanity and use good sense while navigating through a challenging divorce. 

Do not use your partner as a punching bag 

Divorce often brings out the worst in people. What originally seemed to be two great and loving people can easily turn into feral individuals. No matter how much you may love or loathe your spouse, let your head guide your actions. Your feelings can steer you wrong. Your partner may pick up on them and try to use them against you. You may use them to aggravate your spouse and draw the entire process out. If you find that you cannot talk to or be near your spouse to negotiate the details of your separation, get professional help from an attorney.

Do not let your kids see the bad side 

As stressful and frustrating as your partner may make you feel throughout the divorce process, you need to keep yourself together for your children's sake. They may or may not understand what is going on. You may not realize it, but they are also going through changes too and may not be able to process and cope with everything as well as adults can. If you have trouble staying nice and saying nothing but good things about their other parent, see a counselor so you can vent privately to release the stress and feelings. 

Do not try to mirror everyone else 

You may hear divorce stories from your friends and relatives, and receive lots of unsolicited and welcome advice. Keep in mind that no two relationships are the same. Your divorce situation is unique. To increase the chances of a favorable outcome and to protect your kids from additional grief and hardship, work with your spouse to negotiate a separation agreement that works best for your family, states Today's Parent. 

If you do not want to lose most of your assets, finances and your ability to chose how to parent your kids, it is best for you to keep your cool and use common sense. Do not forget to take your family's needs into consideration over everything else.

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