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Controlling your social media during divorce

It seems like a natural move to post life events on Facebook or other social media sites. These events may include a death in your family, a job promotion or the color socks you decide to wear. There is little that is secret from social media.

Nevertheless, if you and your spouse have decided to divorce, social media can easily become the source of hurt feelings, resentment and delayed recovery. The way you and your spouse elect to handle your Facebook pages may affect many factors in your life.

Breaking the news

Psychologist believe conversation and communication are the keys to maintaining a healthy relationship, even in the midst of a breakup. These advisors recommend communicating your expectations about the use of social media during the divorce.

For example, the first thing you may decide together is when and how you will share the change in your relationship status. The desire to be the first to post may result in confusion and mistrust among your friends and family. You may choose to post simultaneously, share a divorce selfie or decide to simply tell people in person.

Unfriending

In this social media age, people often see blocking or unfriending as the ultimate insult. While you may or may not mean to dig at your ex-spouse by blocking his or her Facebook page, your future ex may easily misinterpret the gesture, creating hard feelings unnecessarily. Divorce counselors recommend spouses demonstrate maturity and dignity by discussing boundaries of social media posts.

These boundaries may certainly include an agreement not to bash each other on Facebook or post mean-spirited memes or thinly-veiled quotes. It may help you refrain from venting in this way if you remember that others will see these hurtful posts, such as your children, mutual friends or extended family. Creating tension by bashing your ex may also create tension among those people whom love you, and they may feel forced to choose between the two of you.

Moving on

Of course, many people hope to move forward from a divorce and perhaps find romance again. You and your future ex may wish to make an agreement about how much of your new relationships you will share on Facebook. Psychologists believe that checking in on a date, posting pictures of new love interests, and using your status to compare your new love with your ex may actually prevent you from moving past the pain of the divorce, especially if your purpose in posting them is to hurt your ex.

If you and your spouse are able to reach agreements about something as personal as Facebook, you may also find it possible to agree about the terms of a divorce. With legal guidance, Louisiana couples who can negotiate the major decisions of a divorce often find their settlements are more agreeable and their relationships after divorce more amicable.

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